What I do on a Bad hair day

When my life turned into a Big Fat Badhairday I knew I need something beyond the hair solutions to fix it. Changing brands didn't help. I have a drawer stuffed with almost full shampoo, conditioner, masks, shines, serums bottles. I've tried the soda wash too, but couldn't persist. My hair was greasy and looked extremely bad – no shine, lots of frizz – even after the vinegar rinse. Going out with such a thing on my head was beyond humiliating. If I can't look decent the least I can do is to be clean.

What happened is that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know what I'm going to see in the mirror and I know that I won't like it. I will lose at least half an hour (or as much time as I can afford) trying to fix things and won't enjoy the results even slightly. I'm at a point when I ask – “Why bother? You know what's going to happen. You'll end up not less disappointed than when you started.”

Is it BDD? I don't know and I have a number of reasons not to look for therapy. I'll just clench my teeth and try everything I can to get over it by myself as I usually do. (You think the hair is my only problem? Ha!) And here is what's going to help me:

• I don't buy just shampoo or a solution, I buy HOPE that the bad hair days will go away. But all these hair products advertisement pictures - they are ridiculous. They show gorgeous hair that most of us will never have. It's not real and it's only purpose is to sell me a product by exploiting my emotions. I'll be smarter than that.

• What does every healthy person have? It has healthy mind. It's the key to being well. I can't be well while I am focused on something negative. If I make an effort to concentrate on something positive instead, I'll get it out of my head.

• I am not my hair. It's only a part of me. I make it so but is it THAT important? It will be as important as I think of it. It will ruin my day only if you allow it to get to me. All my good qualities stay with me on bad hair days too. I won't let them lie dormant and will find something to do that will give me a chance to use them.

• I won't do anything else that will drag my emotions further down, like wasting 2 hours of my life on a stupid movie or skip my daily exercise.

• I won't change my daily plan, I will go where I have to and won't reschedule anything for the next day or week hoping that I will look/feel better then.

• When I have to talk to someone, I will look at their face. I know from experience that I usually get more positive feedback than I expected. If I feel negative vibes (usually from a female), I will walk away as soon as possible.

• People aren't focused on my hair. Really. And even if they notice it and think “gaah”, that changes nothing. It does not make me better or worse, so it doesn't matter.

• I will do something that I know helps my self-esteem every day.

• If I think I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough. There is no static state of perfection, a life that felt good for me so far is a process and activity.

• I know I can do it. If I failed again, I didn't try hard enough. So it's time to start over and skip on the mistakes I've made yesterday.